A Journalist’s Lesson Learned

This is by far the hardest post I have had to write.  A couple of years ago, I had the pleasure of meeting Robbin Kane, who I blogged about twice before.  Her heart-wrenching story tore through me and inspired me to make everyday count.  She shared with me that she had stage four ovarian cancer and that her husband had perished in 9/11.  I couldn’t make sense out of how much misfortune and heart-ache she had endured.

Like any journalist would have, I researched her story as best I could.  She had told me that her husband’s name was Howard, but everyone called him Kevin.  I found Howard Kane on a list of deceased persons on a 9/11 tribute Web site.  I saw medical records that she had from Sloan Kettering in New York where she received chemotherapy.  I put my heart and soul into writing her story.

A little while after I blogged her story, I received an email from a man who said he knew Robbin and Kevin.  This man informed me that Kevin was very much alive and that they had gotten divorced.  Of course at first, I didn’t believe him.  How could someone fabricate a story like this?  I went back to my notes, and a professor of mine and myself researched the story again.  However, this time, while looking for holes, we found some.

Because I didn’t want to make another mistake, I researched this story with my professor as in depth as we possibly could.  In the end, to my horror, I discovered that she had lied.  The only thing she didn’t fabricate was the fact that she had cancer.  I can’t begin to understand why she did this.  I can’t imagine what happened between her and her husband that would constitute her creating this tale of awful events.

I confronted her about what I found when I furthered my research.  She stuck by her story, but could never produce any proof to back it up.  After that conversation, I never heard from her again. 

I am ashamed for having believed her and not thinking that it needed to be researched any further than I orginally had.  Aside from the shame, I am hurt.  This was disrespectful to the family of the man she said was her husband.  It was disrespectful to Kevin.  And she was disrespectful to me.

I never in my wildest thoughts would have guessed that she could be making any of it up.  I apologize to Kevin, who I am sure has gone through unbearable heart-ache himself, to the families of those who perished on 9/11 and to Robbin.  I am sorry I ever interviewed Robbin in the first place.

This has definitely been an eye-opening experience.  I have learned, grown and been humbled by this all.  I will be removing the previous posts about Robbin from this blog.

To the man who brought this to my attention-if you ever somehow read this, I am sorry and thank you.

DASH Into a Healthier Lifestyle

The DASH Diet (Dietary Approaches to Stop Hypertension) has been proven to significantly reduce a women’s risk of coronary heart disease and stroke.  Now, I know that many of us hate the word diet let alone the actual dieting itself.  However, this diet is not nearly as scary as some out there.

The DASH Diet recommends that you increase not only your consumption of fruits and vegetables, but consume low-fat or non-fat dairy products regularly.  The goal of this diet is to significantly reduce your consumption of starchy foods.  The best part of the DASH Diet is that you are not starving yourself.  You are mainly cutting certain foods out of your diet and replacing them with healthier ones.

The DASH Diet offers a book that contains recipes and guidelines for successfully adapting to the diet.  There is also an on-line listserv that you can join to chat with others who are on the diet or just starting out, like you.

 If you are like millions of women who want to lead a healthier life, but can’t find a diet that is right for you, check out the DASH diet. 

It’s a Matter of Fact

As a matter of fact, March is National Nutrition Month®.  The American Dietetic Association created this campaign to raise awareness and education about eating healthy.  This program helps people make healthy diet choices, while encouraging them to raise their physical activity level.  “It’s a Matter of Fact” is this year’s NNM’s slogan and means just what it says.  Get the facts about nutrition and get on your way to a healthier, happier you.

Obesity is an increasing health issue in America.  According to WebMD, 30 percent of the population is obese and 65 percent are overweight or obese.  Obesity can lead to very serious, and sometimes fatal, health conditions including Type II Diabetes and heart disease. 

WebMD offers two calculators on their site.  The first will give you an estimate of how many calories you are burning during physical activity.  This will help if you want to lose weight and have to lower your caloric intake and increase your physical activity level.   

The second calculator will give your estimated body mass index (BMI).  A BMI of 29.9 or over indicates a very high risk of serious health problems.   

With the information from the American Dietetic Association and the help from WebMD’s calculators, you no longer have an excuse.  Get the facts, get healthy and stay happy.

I Hate To Be The One To Tell You, But…

Women need to stop watching chick flicks and comparing them to reality.  It’s a sad, unromantic truth I am going to talk about, but nonetheless, an important one.  We need to stop waiting for this fantastic, unimaginable fate to burst into our lives and sweep us off our feet.  I hate to be the one to tell you, but it just ain’t gonna happen.

How many times have you watched “When Harry Met Sally?”  “Serendipity?”  “Sleepless in Seattle?”  More times than any of us would care to admit.  I ask you, of those hundreds of times you’ve cried during the last scene, how many times were you crying because it actually happened to you? 

We’ve built these expectations that no man could possibly meet.  We’ve imagined these serendipitous moments that can’t exist anywhere but in our fantasies (or on the big screen).  We’ve set ourselves, and our men, up for failure and disappointment.  And we can’t blame ourselves. 

Why did Harry have to run, so dramatically, through the streets of New York to get to Sally to tell her he was madly in love with her?  In the real world, he would have sent her an e-mail, during half-time, stumbled over misspellings and the Caps Lock key, just to ask her out.  Sally would have read the e-mail the next day thinking, “What, was his cat walking on his keyboard while he was typing this?”

Fate and destiny sound great.  They give every little girl, and some middle-aged women, something to dream about.  That perfect guy is searching for her right now.  She doesn’t have to do anything.  Just let fate guide her and him to each other.  Do you know why girls think that way?  Because Jonathan searched high and low for the book that Sara wrote her name and number in so he could find her.  Oh, and did I mention that was after they got to know each other, completely by chance, in a cafe called “Serendipity?” 

I believe that men have the ability to be romantic.  I believe that they have the ability to love, unconditionally.  I also believe that they tend to give up after awhile, they have been known to be a bit lazy and they don’t watch chick flicks.  How are they supposed to know what to do?

Vick’s Vapor Rub, My Hero

I went back east over Christmas break and the cold weather inevitably brings getting sick.  I was staying at my parent’s house, which at any given time could have up to nine or 10 people in it.  So as you can imagine, when one gets sick, all get sick.  When it was my turn to have the runny nose, cough and congestion, I wasn’t coping well.  Every time I would lie down to go to sleep, I would cough.  I tried to prop myself up with pillows, but then I couldn’t fall asleep.

My mother told me that a friend of the family had told her that if you rub Vick’s Vapor Rub on the bottom of your feet and then put socks on, you will sleep like a baby.  Being desperate to get some sleep, I was game.  My mother, being the angel that she is, lathered my feet up with Vick’s, I put on my socks and was off to bed. 

I had the best night’s sleep I have had in a long time.  I don’t know how it scientifically or medically works, but it does!  Before I fell asleep, I was getting faint whiffs of the Vick’s and then it was lights out.

The next time you’re sick and can’t sleep, don’t even waste the time putting Vick’s Vapor Rub on your throat and chest like the label tells you to.  Go right for your feet and get ready to have a peaceful night’s sleep.

Not Health News-But Noteworthy

In November, my boyfriend and I got a very rude awakening, literally, on a Wednesday at 5:30 a.m.  Our phone number had mistakingly gotten programmed as an overflow number for Clark County’s Section 8 Housing waiting list.  After we figured this out, we called the housing authority, who told us there was nothing they could do about it and to call our phone provider. 

We called Embarq and they took down our cell phone number, told us to disconnect our phones and said they would call us back.  When we didn’t hear from them for two days, we called them and decided to record the conversations.  We then editted the audio and make slides to go along with it.  We then posted the video on YouTube. 

In January, Tim Pratt, a social services reporter for the Las Vegas Sun, called me wanting to write about the problem. 

I’m glad that this story got out there, because at the time, no one wanted to lift a finger to help resolve the problem.  By problem, I don’t mean that my boyfriend and I were without a phone for 3 days, but the fact that people were trying to get through to Housing and instead, got our answering machine.

Rest In Peace, Mike

Yesterday was a very tragic day for my boyfriend and me.  We found out that one our good friends was in a drunk driving accident and killed.  Mike was 24. 

He was leaving the Las Vegas Strip early in the morning on Sunday after a night full of drinking.  His Blazer flipped, ejecting him from the car and then landed on his body. 

It doesn’t feel real to me yet.  Of course I feel sadness and I am in a state of disbelief, but the feeling that is consuming my body and mind at the moment is frustration.  How hard is it to call a cab?  Or call a friend?  Is it worth risking your life and putting other lives in jeopardy?  This was such a preventable death.  Mike should not be dead.

I really believe that driving drunk is an extremely selfish act.  You bear in mind not the consequences of your actions or the reality of the situation-the more times you drive drunk, the more likely you are to get into an accident.  Everyone’s luck runs out eventually. 

Mike has left behind a family who is hurting more than I can even imagine.  He left behind friends and co-workers, sad and irritated that he didn’t call for ride. 

I hate that he is gone.  I hate that his family and friends have to go through such pain and mourning.  I hate that his parents will bury their child.  I hate that this all was completely preventable.

World AIDS Day

 

 

Saturday was World AIDS day and the world took some time to educate and spread awareness.  The AIDS quilt was right around the corner from us here in Las Vegas.  It stopped in Bakersfield, CA on its tour.  In this day and age, no one should contract the disease let alone die from it.  There are so many ways to prevent the spread of AIDS and HIV, however there is no cure once a person contracts the virus.

According to WebMD’s Web site,

Anyone can get HIV if they engage in certain activities. You may have a higher risk of getting HIV if you:

• Have unprotected sex. This means vaginal or anal intercourse without a condom or oral sex without a latex barrier with a person infected with HIV.
• Share needles to inject drugs or steroids with an infected person. The disease can also be transmitted by dirty needles used to make a tattoo or in body piercing.
• Receive a blood transfusion from an infected person. This is very unlikely in the U.S. and Western Europe, where all blood is tested for HIV infection.
• Are born to a mother with HIV infection. A baby can also get HIV from the breast milk of an infected woman.

Recently in Chicago, there were four transplants that were performed on patients who did not have the virus. After the transplant, they tested positive for HIV. Transplants may seem safe, but they actually can be very deadly, as in this case. The donor was tested before the transplants, but the doctors explained after finding out the shocking news, that if a donor contracts the virus close to the time of the test, it will show up negative. 

Take the time today to learn more about HIV and AIDS and get tested! 

Bend a Little for Him

Relationships can often be the cause of really great feelings or experiences. They can also, at times, be the cause of stress and sadness. As women, it is a fact that we over-analyze, over-think and over-agonize about fights or issues we have within our relationships. What’s even more frustrating is that guys don’t. How can he sit there and act like nothing’s wrong? How does he not know that I am pissed? Why doesn’t he care?

How many times have we said this to ourselves or to our girl friends? I have been doing a lot of thinking about relationships and the dreaded communication factor, and here’s what I’ve come up with. Everyone goes through it and it will never change. Not to say that relationships with poor communication are doomed to fail, but there may just have to be more bending done on your part if anything is to be resolved.

As frustrating as it is to know that when you bring up something that he probably doesn’t want to hear, he will automatically take a defensive position, you have to expect it and swerve around it. We already know that he’s not going to bend. Take a different approach or deal with the temper and defensiveness instead of giving it right back to him (as much as I know you want to). If there’s anything that I’ve learned over the years that I have been in relationships it is that if you really care, and if you really love him, you have to work through even the most difficult of situations.

The hardest part for me during a fight is to sit there and try to explain to him how things are through my eyes. I can see the “I don’t give a @!-*” in his eyes, whether he is intentionally doing it or not. I always think to myself, “Do you realize that you are breaking my heart right now?”

When you aren’t fighting and everything couldn’t be better, he says he hates to see you upset and he’d do anything to make you happy. Why does that all get thrown out the window when you have to talk about something or are having a fight? Where does common human decency go? How can someone that says they love you more than life itself deliver such low blows?

Admittedly, my biggest flaw is that when the argument reaches that level, I close up. I don’t say the things I want and know I should say. Most times, those things never get brought up again. That’s not a solution. It’s a cop-out. I’ve decided that I need to work on saying what I need to say no matter what. I’ve tried doing the opposite, and well, I’m sitting here writing about this, so it didn’t work.

If you’re in it for the long haul, try bending just a little more. But don’t bend so much that you break.

Interview Regarding Birth Control Distribution

I conducted an interview to see how parents felt about the decision to distribute birth control pills to young girls.  Click on the link below to hear the interview.

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