Bend a Little for Him

Relationships can often be the cause of really great feelings or experiences. They can also, at times, be the cause of stress and sadness. As women, it is a fact that we over-analyze, over-think and over-agonize about fights or issues we have within our relationships. What’s even more frustrating is that guys don’t. How can he sit there and act like nothing’s wrong? How does he not know that I am pissed? Why doesn’t he care?

How many times have we said this to ourselves or to our girl friends? I have been doing a lot of thinking about relationships and the dreaded communication factor, and here’s what I’ve come up with. Everyone goes through it and it will never change. Not to say that relationships with poor communication are doomed to fail, but there may just have to be more bending done on your part if anything is to be resolved.

As frustrating as it is to know that when you bring up something that he probably doesn’t want to hear, he will automatically take a defensive position, you have to expect it and swerve around it. We already know that he’s not going to bend. Take a different approach or deal with the temper and defensiveness instead of giving it right back to him (as much as I know you want to). If there’s anything that I’ve learned over the years that I have been in relationships it is that if you really care, and if you really love him, you have to work through even the most difficult of situations.

The hardest part for me during a fight is to sit there and try to explain to him how things are through my eyes. I can see the “I don’t give a @!-*” in his eyes, whether he is intentionally doing it or not. I always think to myself, “Do you realize that you are breaking my heart right now?”

When you aren’t fighting and everything couldn’t be better, he says he hates to see you upset and he’d do anything to make you happy. Why does that all get thrown out the window when you have to talk about something or are having a fight? Where does common human decency go? How can someone that says they love you more than life itself deliver such low blows?

Admittedly, my biggest flaw is that when the argument reaches that level, I close up. I don’t say the things I want and know I should say. Most times, those things never get brought up again. That’s not a solution. It’s a cop-out. I’ve decided that I need to work on saying what I need to say no matter what. I’ve tried doing the opposite, and well, I’m sitting here writing about this, so it didn’t work.

If you’re in it for the long haul, try bending just a little more. But don’t bend so much that you break.